My blog is a happy, funny place where I post the best for my family and a few friends to see. But.... honestly speaking/typing, life is not always happy and funny. I would like it to be, but it's not. Today I feel sad and stressed. I have spent a lot of time as of late thinking and worrying about my children. My thoughts and certain situations often leave me feeling helpless, frustrated, confused and even scared. I want the best for my children. I want them to be liked, accepted, receive a good education, go on a mission, go to college, be happy and the list goes on..... I can understand why the concept of free agency was fought over. Life would be so much easier if we didn't have to wade through trials and difficult choices.
Today I am sad. I can't snap out of it. I had a long meeting at school about one of the boys and although it was a fairly productive meeting, I left with my stomach in knots. I want to shelter my boys from all of life's hardships. I want them to have my childhood... carefree, full of friends, a loving extended family, lots of free time,very little stress and a mom that never yelled. Don't get me wrong, things happened with me and my family growing up that were unpleasant, but we weathered through them differently than we would now in the present time. Expectations on children have changed and evolved into mass chaos of sorts. It is impossible to fit it all in and survive emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
I have been trying to spend more time with my boys especially at night. Part of it started as a rewards incentive for Gabe and part of it was a brief awakening I had this summer. Time is slipping through my fingers and I felt like I needed to connect longer, harder and more often with my boys. As I talk to them, I realize more and more that I need Heavenly Father's help to get through even our daily lives. I need to have more faith in Him and His love for me and my children. I want quick results, but know that the heavens do not always work on that speed. It is hard to be patient when you see your children hurting....
Why am I posting this? Soon my blog will be in print and a book given to each of my boys, my most precious gifts. I want them to see that everyone struggles. Life is hard, but full of goodness. I want them to know that I do rely on the Lord and although I have sad days like today, I know that tomorrow is a new day, full of promise. And if tomorrow is a bunch of yuck too, I have the weekend to look forward to. (O:
I love my boys. I love Eric. I passionately worry about all of them. I wish I could make life simpler, stress free and less problematic. I love the Lord and hate that I forget what a help He is to me. I have a lot of work ahead of me and although it seems overwhelming at times, I do know I can do it. I do know that we all can have happiness and peace. It just takes work.... and a few sad days to reflect.
Today I am sad. I can't snap out of it. I had a long meeting at school about one of the boys and although it was a fairly productive meeting, I left with my stomach in knots. I want to shelter my boys from all of life's hardships. I want them to have my childhood... carefree, full of friends, a loving extended family, lots of free time,very little stress and a mom that never yelled. Don't get me wrong, things happened with me and my family growing up that were unpleasant, but we weathered through them differently than we would now in the present time. Expectations on children have changed and evolved into mass chaos of sorts. It is impossible to fit it all in and survive emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
I have been trying to spend more time with my boys especially at night. Part of it started as a rewards incentive for Gabe and part of it was a brief awakening I had this summer. Time is slipping through my fingers and I felt like I needed to connect longer, harder and more often with my boys. As I talk to them, I realize more and more that I need Heavenly Father's help to get through even our daily lives. I need to have more faith in Him and His love for me and my children. I want quick results, but know that the heavens do not always work on that speed. It is hard to be patient when you see your children hurting....
Why am I posting this? Soon my blog will be in print and a book given to each of my boys, my most precious gifts. I want them to see that everyone struggles. Life is hard, but full of goodness. I want them to know that I do rely on the Lord and although I have sad days like today, I know that tomorrow is a new day, full of promise. And if tomorrow is a bunch of yuck too, I have the weekend to look forward to. (O:
I love my boys. I love Eric. I passionately worry about all of them. I wish I could make life simpler, stress free and less problematic. I love the Lord and hate that I forget what a help He is to me. I have a lot of work ahead of me and although it seems overwhelming at times, I do know I can do it. I do know that we all can have happiness and peace. It just takes work.... and a few sad days to reflect.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. ~John 14:27
3 comments:
Good post. Sorry you are sad. Our little ones do make us stress, but you always figure it out. You are an amazing mother. I totally agree with the war in Heaven thing. I sometimes side with Satan:) It would be so much easier. Thanks for sharing. The hard is never easy. Love you lots...
Good post. Yeah life is scary and kids do stress us out! At least we have the gospel which has ALL the answers and yes we have a perfect counselor, Jesus Christ and he even paid the price. Go to sleep!
I understand so well how you are feeling,and the only help is to trust the Lord and know that He understands and gives each of us just what we need to become our best selves. We worry and fret right along with you, and we pray and trust and know that so long as we do our part and live the best we can, the Savior makes up the difference; and it will work out in the end. We love you and admire the wonderful parents you are! Mom
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